I took the title of this post from a buddy of mine at http://geekeguy.blogspot.com/2010/03/squirrel.html. Seemed like an appropriate title for a post where I will talk about how many irons I have in the fire, and how many cookie jars I’ve got my fingers in. He said it well when he said that he changes direction more than his underwear. Then he went on about something else, blah blah blah SQUIRREL! I had already changed directions. He does paint some pretty awesome models, however! I saw what looked like a battleship, so I assume he’s working on ships now. But I digress…

I’m here to talk about me, and let’s face it, you are hear to read about me. You must be the poster boy, or girl, of boredom… or related to me… Or both… Probably both. So, it seems I haven’t written since January. Let’s see if I can’t catch you up, faithful readers.

Job. My job still rocks. I get to work with code and explore new technology. It’s my thang, you know. Nothing particularly interesting there. I’m working on .NET Remoting, which admittedly is not “new tech”, but it’s new to me, and it’s pretty neat stuff. I wish I could jump into WCF with the rest of the world, but the corporate machine moves slow and cautiously, so we are still using .NET 2.0 here. Nevertheless, .NET Remoting is proving to be some pretty neat and useful stuff. The foundation it is laying for me and my counterparts will no doubt be in valuable when we do move to .NET 3.5.

Bills are still piling up on us, like everyone else in the world. So, I still take side projects to supplement my income. It’s a great way to supplement the income and get some extra cash into the coffers. I’m doing this stuff at home anyway, so might as well make some cash at it too. I’m building up a nice client list and who knows maybe one day down the road it would be a sustaining income.

Heidi is slightly ramping up her cake decorating business again. I’m so glad to see her doing that. We both know it’s a passion for her, and I know that she would be wildly successful at it, given the proper time and place of business to do it. In the meantime, there’s yummy, home made, desserts at our house again. :)

The food we’re eating in general is much better now too, thanks to Heidi. She has taken it upon herself to make sure we are all eating whole foods at least 90% of the time, and that the meat we eat is properly handled through it’s entire lifecycle. We watched Food, Inc. recently and it was a bit of a wake up call for us. Nothing we didn’t already know, but we just got tired of being ok with it. I must admit, I feel a heck of a lot better now that my diet is better. Can’t wait to get further down the road with it.

I recently had to put in a new climate control system for my home office. Too much computer equipment in there now! Kinda neat to have that room on its own “zone”.

My son is still having heart “flutterings” or whatever. Not sure if I mentioned this yet, and too lazy to go check. But he’s been having some heart “vibrations” (that’s what he calls them). They last a couple seconds, and scare him sometimes. We had a monitor on him for a month to capture these things. Doc said nothing looks weird. So, not sure what it is. It’s pissing me off that we can’t find anything solid on it. More to come on that — hopefully a solution — soon.

Games!! We all know how I love my games! Well, there’s this new game called, “WORK YOUR ASS OFF CUZ YOU GOT BILLS” that I’ve been playing. … Stupid bills. I got a nice new gaming machine, and haven’t been able to stretch its legs yet… grrrr.

That’s about it… More to come hopefully… But you know how that goes. :) I’m gonna hit post before I change my mind and post nothing.

I’m feeling good about things. How’s that for a new, refreshing way to start a blog post? Why you might ask? I am on a diet. We are minimizing our material purchases. I work at least 14 hours a day. My back is jacked up – I mean bad jacked up. No, those would seem to be reasons that make me unhappy. Every single one of them does, in fact, make me unhappy.

But, I am trying to look at those very same situations in a new light. I’m losing weight and feel much better about myself. Ok, maybe just a little better – but better is better. I like most of the materials that I currently own so don’t desire for much more. I like the work I do, and feel like I make a difference in a great many arenas. My doctor has just about got my back pain to a controllable level.

Blah blah, right? You might say that I just said the same things in a positive light. Big deal. Well, to me it is!! This is a new thing for me. At least a very long lost discipline. Whatever, I have it back to some extent and the days seem brighter, and filled with hope. I’ll take it!

I hear the question, “Want to grab some coffee from the cafe?” less often. It seems to have been replaced with questions like, “You saved that ziploc bag from lunch that you used for your crackers, right?” … Man how I miss breves…

Heidi is taking the same approach to things as well, and things are feeling a lot better as a whole for this family. Even in light of some events I won’t mention that might otherwise depress us quite a bit. Shut up, I said I won’t mention — stop asking. ;)

We’re both hoping our compasses are pointing in a positive direction and that it might have a positive effect on a certain little boy who looks to us for guidance in this scary world…

OH! Here’s a postscript to contrast this entire post… I over heard Heidi tell Rhys to only take three of the chocolate treats she had made (Buckeyes). I walked out and found the plate in front of Rhys with four chocolate blemishes on it.

That indicated to me that he had eaten four. I had also just heard him say that he was going to go ahead and decide to eat four. That’s his thing lately. Testing authority. Mom quickly shut him down and said “NO! I said three!!” That was before I walked out there..

Anyway, I gave Rhys the “WTF, DUDE!!” look.

He gave me the “OMG SHIT, I’M BUSTED” look and said, “s-o-r-r-y” in a whispered tone…

Then I did the ‘dad thing’ where you shut everything off and tell him to clean up, then I stare into his soul and reduce the poor kid to tears.

Then I hear Heidi say, “OMG Wait!! He only ate three!!” Turns out she had one earlier. The fourth smudge was hers…

I had to apologize and make up with my son and get him to forgive me… He eventually did. I still feel like total shit though. :(

Anyway, good night world. See you tomorrow!

Just weighed in… 208lbs and 30.7 BF… Going to start putting waist measurement into the mix I think, too. Just gotta find that tape measure. ha!

This day, 6 years ago, my daughter died. She had a cold. The world only knew her for 20 days. She came into the world 26 weeks into the pregnancy – three months too soon. Her lungs were a mess. Her heart was not formed right. Her body didn’t have any fat on it. When she was wrenched from my wife’s womb, she was silent.

I was still with fear, shock, amazement, sadness, happiness, and defeat when I saw her for the first time. Before I had a chance to even begin to comprehend what I was feeling, her brother, Rhys, was pulled from the safety of the womb – also three months too soon. He wasn’t in much better shape at all. He did make a sound, however.

My daughter was wisked away before I could even catch a breath. My son was placed in a warmer that was here in the operating room. My wife lay there on the table bleeding more than she should have been. She wasn’t able to see anything that had come to pass, but she was awake laying there behind the curtain and experiencing everything through my face and my actions. I tried to be strong and give her some sense that everything was ok. But it wasn’t. All three of my immediate family were literally dying before my eyes.

When this day started, my wife and I were on the way to go see a movie. :) How different it turned out. They were finally able to stabilize my son and daughter – at least as much as they could. They were able to finally stop the bleeding and patch up my wife.

We stayed three months in the NICU. Everyday we prayed that our twins would be alive the next morning. Almost everyday we woke to find either one of the twins’ neighbors in the NICU gone, or there was a new roommate for them there at the NICU. The term “good day” changed for us during our stay at the NICU. A good day was when our son or daughter didn’t crash. Or maybe there were no brain bleeds. Maybe the brittle bone baby down the way didn’t break a new bone. Maybe that baby who’s parents “couldn’t handle” the reality of the NICU might show up to say hi to their little one instead of asking them to find someone else to deal with it. Maybe one of the babies who didn’t seem to have any visitors at all would finally have someone come in and care about it.

It also gave a new meaning to a “bad day” as well. One day, we received the “call”. Leilani, my daughter, was crashing. The infection that she had was not clearing up, and it was the beginning of the end, we were told. We rushed to the NICU as fast as we could safely travel. We arrived there and my daughter’s nurse was in tears. We were too late. I never got to say goodbye to my little angel. She lay there. Her life was obviously passed on. It’s hard to describe what it felt like. My son was on the other side of the wall and was still a very critically ill little baby.

My first time holding my daughter was after her passing… My wife got to hold her twice. I’m so very glad she was able to do that. I wouldn’t take that away for anything.

I never got to know my daughter, but I know she would have been a powerful force. She would have been beautiful and amazing, I’m quite certain. She touched our hearts deeply in the short time we knew her, and we still miss her terribly to this day…

If you want to donate to the March of Dimes to help fight premature birth and the complications that come of it. We set up a link in Leilani’s name, but didn’t publicize it well. Even if you donate time, or anonymously, that helps. The improvements they’ve made in technology and procedure and education already may have made the difference for Leilani to live had she been born today.

Thanks for letting me get that out. :) See you tomorrow. :) It’s POETS Day!!

Tomorrow the new year will officially start. At least in the normal sense. I will get up in the morning, outfit myself in my corporate battle gear, grab a coffee to nourish me as I march into battle, and head out the door to conquer code. There will be no bloodshed, but sometimes it feels like it. As much as that sounds like I’m not looking forward to getting back to things, I do. I’ve had a nice 16 day vacation and now it’s time to see what we can do in 2010.

There are a lot of irons in the fire. Some will have to go, and some will need stoking. Heidi is a lot more involved in these projects this year as well. It’s going to be a great year for our collaborative efforts I think. We make a great team with things like this.

So far the diet is going well. It’s a little painful and annoying, but not too much. This is the pace I want to keep and maybe this will allow me to make an actual lifestyle change. The main theme of the diet seems to be cutting back sugars and serving sizes. Makes a whole lot of sense to me. Hopefully soon I will be skinnier, feel better about myself, have more energy, and just generally look better…

We’re starting the year off right. We eliminated our car problems, are getting in shape, have brand new OSes on our workstations and media center, organized our garage, and have our eyes on the ball.

Bring it 2010, we’re ready to kick your ass into 2011. ;)

Here it is again. The new year. It’s going to be the best one yet, right? I’m so tired of saying that every year… I always say, “man… at least next year will be better…” I want to say it one last time… So here we go: This year is going to be awesome!!

Ok, I said it. Now how do I make that happen? I have a list of things I want to make happen, but the trick is to hold myself accountable.

One of the things that this blog is going to help me with is creativity. I feel like my creativity is tapped, and this blog has always been a creative outlet for me. Nothing groundbreaking by any stretch, but it should serve as a mental exercise, and I think that is as important as the physical exercises we do…

Which brings me to another accountability. I just weighed in. ;) 211 lbs, and 30.6 BF. Holy cheese and crackers, Batman! I found a neat idea at One Man’s Blog that I’m gonna participate in. Today is day one of the HealthyChallenge! Let’s do this! Time to bring those numbers down!

So, for accountability’s sake, here’s the two most important things for 2010.

1) Get healthy. Bring my weight down to the 170’s and bring my fat content down to the teens (is that possible?).

2) Get creative again! My mind feels paralyzed lately. Like someone has filled my head with mental concrete, and I can’t move. I need to shake that funk off and get back in the game!

What are your goals and resolutions? What are you going to do going forward this year?