What a fun day I had yesterday…
by Slack, on October 13th, 2002
So, all the time, Heidi is ragging on me to drink water. “You have to drink water, you dumbass!” she always says. I tell her, of course, “Yadda yadda yadda! I’m fine don’t worry about me.” Well, the reason she is so insistent on my drinking water isn’t only because she is a tree-hugging nutri-freak. It’s because back in 1997 I had a mother of a kidney stone. The ‘mother’ part of that description is referring to the pain factor, because the damn stone was only the size of a tip of a ball point pen. If there truly is a god, then kidney stones are proof he has a sense of humor.
Well, Friday night, I went to my buddy Drew’s house. Before I went there, I think I had a sip of water all day. I have a nice bottle of scotch, well, ok a cheap bottle of scotch stashed at his place for just such an occasion. So, I commence to drinking. I wake up the next morning at home knowing that I only had one more glass of water before bed. I was supposed to go out to lunch with my mom and Heidi, but that familiar tight feeling in my lower back told me that I should probably go to the emergency room instead.
Long story short, I got a lecture about drinking water, got to experience a drug called Delotted (sic) that the nurse called “the granddaddy of pain meds”, and today I get to recover from the hell that is a Kidney Stone. This one measured 3 millimeters across… Yeah, funny.. Real damn funny.
I love you and I am glad you are feeling better now :) Keep drinking lots of water too hehehheheh.
It appears to me that Scotch doesn’t have enough water in it. What are you drinking, 80 proof or so? That’s 40% alcohol, leaving only 60% of the beverage for water and impurities and stuff. Beer, on the other hand, has a much higher percentage of water in it and is thus much better for you. Look at me: I never drink Scotch, but I do drink beer. Have I ever had a kidney stone? Hell no! Drink more beer and you’ll be fine! And no, washing your Scotch down with beer does not count.
About 2 years ago, we were visiting my dad, and we had all gone up to Lake Powell to spend the weekend on his houseboat. We had cruised all the way out to a cove he knew of, and beached the boat there for the night. The next morning I woke up, and had a pretty decent pain in my lower back/side. I thought it was just from sleeping on the deck of the boat, but it escalted all morning and ended up with us dropping anchor, and rushing to the marina. An ambulance met us there and took me to Page hosipital (Lord, let me NEVER have to have surgery there). They weren’t able to diagnose what it was, but I got three seperate shots, and some doctors fingers shoved up in parts where the sun don’t shine, asking if it hurt (No, doc, that feels just fine. Twit)
Getting back home to my own doctor, she said I had passed a kidney stone, and should drink tons of water. As I know the pain involved, I make sure I drink as much as I can. I never want another kidney stone (Or doctors fingers!) again.
And yes, that was probably TMI… :D