Allen my Friend,
WOW! Where to start… Congratulations! I Cant believe my old bike ridding buddy is now a daddy. Welcome to fatherhood! I do want to express my deepest sympathy on the passing of Leilani. You, Heidi and Rhys will be in my prayers. I know you and Heidi will cherish every minute you had with her. I made an attempt to visit you and Rhys at the hospital, however the O-so friedly “gestapo” security informed me I wasnt on “THE LIST”… This child of yours already has a VIP list? Now that is a special child.. Let me know if there is ANYTHING I can do for you. ANYTHING. I am always available for you.. TD

Hey guys! I finally got a mention on the webpage! Woo Hoo! J/K! You two are still wonderful hosts – don’t even stress about that! We love to visit you – under any circumstances. We will continue to show up on your door step every other weekend as long as you let us! So glad Rhys is doing well, he is just beautiful! Thanks for letting us share in your joy – and your sorrow. We just want to be part of your life and will do anything to help. We enjoyed our visit and look forward to seeing you again soon. Perhaps I will get to see my “nephew” next time! Love you all – Jessica

Hey you two. I have only had the opportunity to spend time with you on only a few occasions, but it only took those few times (the first, really) to see what genuine, good and caring people you are. It fills me with sorrow to hear of your loss, and I am also filled with joy to see that wonderful baby boy of yours. I can only imagine the spectrum of emotions you two have experienced, given the spectrum that I have felt just seeing all of this second-hand. I have been sincerely touched and will keep you guys in my heart and in my thoughts–I wish all the happiness in the world be sent your way. Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful lives with everyone. I hope to see the three of you soon!

Amy [last name removed] wanted me to drop you a line. My husband and I had a preemie 8 years ago. MacKenzie was born 26 weeks and 6 days weighing 2 lbs. 6 oz. She is now a healthy, happy, intelligent child who looks pretty much like a “normal” kid. She is about the same height as all the other kids in her class, but weighs about 5 pounds less than the other girls. By no means has her prematurity had any long-term effect on her. She is currently in second grade and reads at the 5th grade level – cognitively we are doing awesome! Her fine motor and gross motor skills are perfect.
We too had many dark days. I can’t relate to your loss as we only had one preemie and didn’t experience the loss of our child. We sure know what you mean when you said how you look at the empty isolette from all the babies around your child. I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter.
Kenzie came home with oxygen and tubing (it seemed like 100 feet of oxygen tubing wrapping around our house) and on some medication to keep her lungs strong. We also came home with an apnea monitor as she had apnea a couple of times in the hospital. The apnea monitor was awesome to have! If we didn’t hear beeps, we knew she was breathing and doing well.
Kenzie had eye surgery at 13 weeks to repair the retinopathy of prematurity. Rhys may look forward to that one! Not too bad, really! Kenzie doesn’t wear glasses and she can see anything.
Not to say that we always had it easy. The first few years she would get sick (more often than other kids, but we were only in the hospital one time) and had pneumonia a couple of times. We watched her very closely and took her to all the developmental check-ups that you and Rhys will do. Those were great because you guys will never go by the What to Expect books – the timing is all off!
Some of our success stories-we used essentially a hot water bottle cover filled with water (not hot) as her pillow when she was in the hospital. We flipped her head ALL the time. She does not have the typical preemie head. She’s got a normal shaped head. I pumped breast milk and by the time she was 2 weeks old (weighing not even 2 pounds) Phoenix Children’s Hospital let me nurse her. She nursed once a day for a while. At a month old she was transported to another hospital because she was a feeder-grower. They couldn’t believe she was nursing already, but PCH is really aggressive with that. I strongly encourage all the kangaroo care you guys can get. You are the best advocate for your son.
I know this is a difficult time for you. I will be praying for you, your wife, Rhys and Leilani. I know that Leilani is in Heaven protected from all her suffering. The tears we cry are really for those she left behind because she is in a much better place.
Good luck and I hope soon Rhys will be breathing totally on his own, sustaining his body temperature and eating. Then he can be on his way home.