MERRY CHRISTMAS, everyone! :) I hope everyone is having a wonderful time. Things are pretty well here We started the day with some yummy Circle K coffee, and dove into the presents. :) We’re both very happy with what we got. Anyway, the big news today is Rhys made it to page 1 in the paper! How cool is that! There’s a huge picture of him printed in color! Love it!

Click on the “read more” link to check it out, or check the original article at The Daily Star…

Have a good one!

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Grieving one child, celebrating another

By Carla McClain
ARIZONA DAILY STAR

There was no Christmas last year. Not a hint of it. This year, there is a tiny tree, for the one tiny life that made it.

Born as far from a manger as a baby can get, the twins – Rhys and Leilani – came into a world of bright lights and beeping machines, of tubes and monitors and medicines.

Due in the early spring, the babies instead arrived in the dead of winter, just days before last Christmas. Weighing only 2 pounds each, they began a harrowing year, a terrible struggle to live.

It was a fight one of them lost. But even so, there will be a celebration of life today.

“This is a very hard mixture of emotions – it’s surreal to grieve for one child and celebrate the other,” said Heidi Trevethan, 28, the twins’ mother. “We tried so hard to have these babies. These babies were so wanted, so needed. This Christmas is very bittersweet.

“I miss my daughter – my son is not supposed to be alone,” she said. “But my son is here, and that he is, is a miracle. He is so cherished. He helps me heal.”

When something went wrong with one of the placentas that supplied blood and oxygen to Rhys and Leilani in the womb, they were born Dec. 19 at Tucson Medical Center after only 26 weeks of pregnancy. “Extreme prematurity,” doctors call it.

With lungs unready for the real world, they were immediately put in newborn intensive care, on breathing machines.

The machines are unkind and uncomfortable, especially for extraordinarily fragile babies who wanted nothing more than the peace and quiet and safety of their mother’s body.

“It was too early for them to come out. I couldn’t even touch them, they were so very fragile,” Heidi said. “The stimulation of doing that was too much for them. Any movement at all destabilized them.”

Within two days, Rhys crashed. He stopped breathing, and went without oxygen for a dangerous stretch of minutes. After a heroic effort, and every medical technology available, he was resuscitated – but not before he suffered a severe brain bleed. No one yet knows the damage it may have caused.

In the days that followed, there were lung punctures from ventilators, infections, blood transfusions, tubes and drugs that caused seizures. The twins lost weight. Although Rhys at times seemed nearer death, Leilani began to decline.

“She had so many infections – she just had no immune system. She couldn’t fight off anything,” her mother said.

“I got to hold her the first and only time three days before she died. She actually opened her eyes – it was awesome.”

Leilani died Jan. 7 – less than three weeks after birth.

Rhys continued to fight on.

And in March – around the time he should have been born – he finally went home with his parents, Heidi and Allen.

He no longer needed oxygen, though doctors had predicted he would depend on it for at least two years. His mother could hold him, for hours at a time. He had made it to 5 pounds.

But Rhys remembers, it seems, how hard it was.

“He hated all the tubes. To this day, he doesn’t like to have his face touched. He’s a very serious little boy,” Heidi said. Rhys does not walk, nor even crawl yet, but he is reaching milestone after milestone of development, if a bit late. He has thrived in physical, occupational and speech therapy.

“They told us it was possible he could be totally incapacitated. But he has made huge strides – he’s exceeding every expectation,” Heidi said.

“In my heart of hearts, I think he is going to be OK. There’s a real spark there – you can see it in his eyes. He’s strong.”

Well, I would have updated sooner, but I was quite sick over the weekend. Seems Heidi and I got the flu… We thought it was food poisoning at first, but it was just actually the flu timed in such a way that it made it look like we both ate rancid meat… Either way, it was literlly the shittiest time of my life — next to that time Stussy and I ate the 3 day old (god, was it three days old?) bowling alley chicken. Anyway, that’s a tale where details are better left in the dark…

Heidi ended up calling everyone who was going to make it to Rhys’ birthday shin-dig and cancel. We didn’t want to give any of them this horrible funk we had. Naomi and Rey decided to come anyway. While I salute their devotion to my son, I also question the decision. I sure hope you guys aren’t sick… My mom also attended, and just yesterday informed me that she was feeling pretty ill… Great… Anyway, that ruled out food poisoning…

So, we had a little party for the Rhys-man anyway. Here he is with Lola:

It’s always great when she is here taking care of him. It gives Heidi a much needed and deserved break because well, daddy isn’t much of a baby guy, and he’s ALWAYS quiet for her!! He never really shuts up for us like he does for Lola! hahaha

Here’s birthday boy and his first cupcake. As you can see, once he discovered what chocolate tastes like, the cupcake didn’t stand a chance. He almost burned his finger on the candle too!! Just like daddy!! (Uhh… That was on my first birthday too, not like recently or anything… Sheesh!)

Lastly, here’s a shot of mom after her and Naomi cleaned all the cupcake guts off of him. :-D

Well, that’s about it in our neck of the woods… Things are about the same on all other levels. I’m feeling a bit better about things in general, so that’s a good sign. Hopefully this trend continues…

Happy Holidays everyone!!

So, I keep telling myself to update this damn site at least once a week… Lately, it’s hard to find the energy, time, and content to put in here…

It’s the holiday season, and my son’s first birthday is coming up this weekend. You’d think I’d have all kinds of holiday cheer and an upbeat outlook on things… Well, I don’t. I’m frustrated beyond belief with all kinds of things right now. But, I’m not updating to write about that crap… I should keep my eye on good things around me, so that’s what I’ll concentrate on.

Rhys is doing well. That is, well for a kid who’s got some kind of bug. Heidi was up for most of the night a couple nights ago because Rhys was throwing up non-stop. He continued to dry-heave after having emptied the contents of his stomach sufficiently. So, being the super-mom that my wife is, she slept in his room with him just to be sure he was alright. Though, I doubt very much she slept much at all. I truly think my son has the best mom in the entire world, and he sure is lucky to have her to care for him. Because dad really isn’t much of a whiz in the child-care dept! :-D

In other news, it looks like the three of us may be featured in the paper in a human interest type story about our very traumatic year. Heidi has been interviewed and told our story. I was asleep so was unable to participate, but the whole idea is great if you ask me. One thing I was searching for when we were going through all this was someone who was on common ground. We found some people through meeting them in the NICU, and we even found a couple in Canada who have had extremely similar experience with this whole thing. When you need to vent to someone about things, it’s always good to vent to someone with a common understanding. In our situation this was hard to find, but we’re glad we found what people we did. We still communicate with them all. So, anyway, I hope someone who may be experiencing this uniquely draining fact of life might find some comfort reading our story. Everything considered, it turned out relatively well. It’s hard to look at in a positive light, even now. There were so many good things to come of it, and yet so many terrible things…

Work is going well. I’m not certified yet, but am working on it. I think I’m going to schedule a hail mary test next week to just see if I can pass this damn thing — even if it is by the hair of my chinny chin chin… Other than the looming pressure from getting certified, work life is very kewl. We start new schedules in Jan and I get to go back to a dayshift! I can’t tell you how happy I am about that! Maybe it will help my mood. Maybe I just need some sun! :-D

Well, that’s about it in our corner of the world. Happy Christmas and Merry New Year!!! I’ll update more on Rhys’ first birthday coming up this weekend!! My boy is growing up! :(

So, as some of you may know, Rhys’ eye doctor was murdered recently. :( Yesterday, there was a walk held in memory of him. Heidi attended with a friend of ours’ Gina. Heidi and Gina were interviewed by our local paper, and I thought I’d share. :)

For the whole article, click below on the Read More link!

For the original source click here.

700 honor slain doctor
His sister joins former patients for Sabino event
By Stephanie Innes
ARIZONA DAILY STAR

Braving Saturday morning’s wet, chilly weather, some 700 people – about half of them children – walked through Sabino Canyon in memory of Dr. David Brian Stidham, a 37-year-old Tucson doctor who was murdered Oct. 5.

Among those who participated in the half-mile Dr. Brian Stidham Children’s Memorial Walk were Andrea Depwe, Stidham’s only sibling, as well as many of his local medical colleagues, and a large contingent of infants, toddlers and grade-school children who were patients at Stidham’s pediatric ophthalmology practice.

Depwe, who came to to take part in the event from her home in Austin, Texas, wiped away tears for much of the walk. Depwe missed a memorial service for her brother that was held in Tucson the week he was killed because she had a baby just two days after the murder.

“I’d like to thank you for being here and for the overwhelming display of sympathy and concern you’ve shown toward our family,” she told participants, who set out from the Sabino Canyon Visitors Center at 8:30 a.m. “This is certainly devastating to our family but it is amazing the impact Brian’s death has had on the community. I’d like you to know Brian truly loved this area. . . . Thanks to each of you for making my baby brother so happy.”

Stidham, a married father of two young children, was killed outside his medical office. He was stabbed 17 times and his skull was fractured, according to Pima County Sheriff’s Department reports.

Stidham’s former colleague, Dr. Bradley Schwartz, 39, was arrested on a first-degree murder charge Oct. 15 in what authorities described as a murder-for-hire plot motivated by Schwartz’s jealousy of Stidham. Ronald Bruce Bigger, 38, accused of being the hit man, also is charged with first-degree murder.

Schwartz, a pediatric ophthalmologist who is now in the Pima County jail, has a troubled history that includes drug use, shoplifting and erratic behavior. But there was little talk of Schwartz during Saturday’s walk, which was mostly subdued and quiet. When people spoke, it was to acknowledge Stidham, who moved to Tucson in 2001.

“He touched people’s lives in more ways than they ever realized when he was alive,” said Dr. Mary Cochran, a colleague and friend of Stidham’s who helped organize the walk.

Dr. Sam Sato, who took over Stidham’s practice, did the walk as did Stidham’s entire six-member office staff and their families. Stidham’s employees wore shirts that memorialized their former boss: “In Memory of Dr. Stidham, 1967-2004.”

“It’s to show our loyalty and dedication to him,” said 28-year-old Veronica Carrillo.

Patricia Mazón-Brownell, 31, did the walk without her 4-year-old son, Garrett, who was one of Stidham’s patients.

“How do you explain to a child what has happened? How do you explain that there are bad people in this world?” Mazón-Brownell said. “My son liked Dr. Stidham immediately and he still doesn’t understand.”

Heidi Trevethan, 28, and Gina Kelly, 41, reunited during Saturday’s walk. The two Tucson mothers had met earlier this year in the neonatal intensive care unit at Tucson Medical Center when Stidham was the eye doctor to their premature newborn children. On Saturday they pushed their babies in strollers.

“We both got to know him and found him very reassuring,” Kelly said.

“The community will suffer. His death is a huge loss,” Trevethan said.

Other participants included many children wearing glasses who drew pictures and wrote messages of tribute to Stidham on construction paper underneath a ramada.

Stidham and his wife, Daphne, owned a home near Sabino Canyon and he spent the final Sunday of his life there with them, which is why his medical colleagues chose Sabino as the place to memorialize him. The family had recently bought a piece of vacant land near the recreation area and had been planning to build a new home there, Dr. Steve Cohen said.

“Brian was an incredibly special person,” said Cohen, a close friend of Stidham’s who participated in Saturday’s walk with his family. “This guy had so much potential and he was absolutely brilliant. He had compassion and humility and he was a brilliant doctor.”

Daphne Stidham is now living in Dallas and though she had been living with relatives she recently purchased a home for herself and her children, Depwe said.

Stidham grew up in Texas and earned his medical degree at Harvard. Members of the Pima County Pediatric Society donated a permanent tile mosaic memorial for Stidham to the visitors area at Sabino Canyon.

The walk was sponsored by the Pima County Pediatric Society, with support from Tucson Medical Center, Eegee’s and the Pima County Medical Society.

So, life drags on. It’s been pretty busy here lately, and I’ve been in a crappy mood for quite awhile. Not sure what the hell is wrong with me. Maybe I have holiday blues. Perhaps I’m not having enough fun. Or maybe I’m just a whiny brat like my son. :-D

Speaking of the whiny brat, here’s a snap of him!

He recently got his first real haircut from Auntie Naomi. :) I hear he was a very good boy. Lola is quite happy, of course, and says he “actually looks like a boy now”!! Well, he looked like a boy before!! So there! :) Heidi and I miss his longer hair. :)

Heidi and I also actually got to go out for the first time in something like 8 months! Alone. No baby. It was so nice. :) Lola was nice enough to watch him for us while we went to the range, and then went and had some drinks. :)

Well, that’s all for now in my world. Hope everyone is having a great holiday season! It’s SOOO cold down here now! Lows of like 40F lately!!! Gadzooks!!! :) hehehe