So, today I decided to make myself a double batch of Sinagang. Folks, this stuff is food of the gods. The best stuff on this planet. But, as with all good things, the process takes a lot out of you. My mother is probably giving that look that says I’m crazy and that this stuff is easy as boiling a hot dog, but when you are super sensitive to various forms of “yuck” — even in trace amounts — the process is quite an ordeal.
First, there’s “yuck”. For those that don’t know me, “yuck” to me is a metric ass ton of various things that you earthlings call food. Be it tomatoes, onions, beets, squash, or other various plant life. The “yuck” in particular that concerns today’s entry is meat fat. I can’t stand meat fat. It’s not food. I’d rather regurgitate last nights meal whatever that was, and chew on it than chew on a hunk of meat fat.
Moving on, I’m going to walk you thru the process that is Sinagang. For I like to share. … And I’m bored… So, first things first. You need meat. I prefer pork. So, go to your butcher and pick up a big ass pork butt. Which, of course, is really the shoulder and not the butt at all. This vomitous cut of swine is nothing short of disgusting. It’s hard to imagine cooking it up and eating it… Well, unless you like meat fat, and as you will recall I do not. So, get your vomitous cut of swine and meat fat. Then you need to cut it into slightly smaller pieces of vomitous meat fat. Stick it in a stock pot and boil the snot out of it.
During this process the meat fat will liquefy and float to the top as scum, while imparting a bit of its flavor into the stock. Skim this scum off the top intermittently and dispose of it in your garbage bowl. You did bring a garbage bowl, right? Or, you could ignore the scum and let the stock pot boil over as it makes for a neat show. Your choice.
Sooner or later, the scum will stop forming. You’ll think, “AWESOME! All the nasty ass meat fat has boiled off!” Yes, you’ll think that, but you’ll be wrong. There’s still going to be quite a bit of that chewy goodness clinging to your meat after the meat is cooked… Oh yay!
Ok, meats all cooked. Pull the chunks of yuck marbled meat out of the cauldron and transfer them to a plate. If you got the bone-in type, the chunk with the bone will make neat noises. But, that’s just an appetizer to the auditory delightfulness you’ve got coming, so don’t fret. Ok grab yourself a knife. … No, get one that the people who know how to cook use. That dinky thing is for cutting steaks, you fool! Ok. That’s better. You’ll be tempted to use surgical precision when trimming the hunks of yuck off of the meat. That’s really cute and all, but you’ll give up after about 2 minutes. Your concern for preserving every bit of edible meat would make even my mom proud, but give up, dude. It’s not worth it. That’s why you bought that ginormous cut of pig. Some must be sacrificed. It’s the way of things…
Ok, all the meat is trimmed up and looking reasonably lean. It’s pig, it wont get much more than reasonable. Just deal with it. Transfer all the hunks of yuck to the garbage bowl, and find a comfortable chair. Get a drink, and put some music on. You’ll need two forks for this next bit of fun. The two forks will be for shredding the meat. The chair is so you don’t pass out from locking your knees. Finally, the music is to drown out the auditory wonderment that is shredding pork butt. I did this step while my son was napping, so I was sans music. The sound of two forks cutting through pig muscle marbled with yuck in it is a sound that nearly conjured up post digested whatever from the pits of my stomach on two occasions. It’s a bit of a catch 22. This food is so damn good, but cooking it really makes you unhungry. :)
Anyway, after you’ve shredded up your meat and dumped out the scraps. You need to put the meat, and the Sinagang mix (get it from a Filipino store) back into the stock pot. Put it to simmer, and get your napa.
Napa? Yes, I realize most of you probably are not familiar with this cabbage. “OH!!! Cabbage!”, you say. NO! Not cabbage, you ignorant fool! Napa! It’s such a good plant I’m amazed that more folks are not familiar with it. Seriously, turn to the closest person to you and say, “Mmmmmm!!! Napa, that’s some good eats!” The look on their face will likely be the same as if you had said, “SHPLORNK! I love fleefle nuts from the planet Zeeborg!” But, at any rate, get napa, don’t be a distard and use regular cabbage. And so help me god, if you eat this stuff with regular long grain Uncle Buck’s rice, there is no hope for you.
Cut up the napa and dump it in the pot. Next cook up some short grain rice in your trusty rice cooker. If you don’t have a rice cooker, go play in traffic you cave dweller. That’s it! By the time the rice is done cooking, and your appetite has returned, you will have Sinagang – Food of the Gods waiting for you to enjoy.
Don’t ever say I never gave ya anything! ;)
