So, my PDA took a shit again… You know, that’s a much more accurate statement for a user on a Palm Pilot than it is for a user on Windows Mobile… I mean, the statement hints at a period of happiness and success… You know, and then BANG, it took a shit!

To more properly describe life in Windows Mobile Land, I’d modify that statement to, “So, my PDA finally stopped vomiting on itself, shit the bed, and I put the pillow over it’s face…” You know, a statement which better reflects that a Windows Mobile PDA is much more like a circus freak. You know, people marvel at them. “WOW! Look at that! OMG! I’ve never seen any other thing do that!”, they say. Then, when you own one, you just think things like, “For the love of Eris, stop that soul-scraping howling!” Or, “Dear god, you’re so utterly pathetic!!! I should shoot you myself!” Then one fateful day, when your personal circus freak tips over its cereal bowl into its lap during breakfast for the 734th time, you just lose it. You point wildly to the near distance behind it and scream, “SHINY!!” Then, when it turns, you stick it in the back of the head with a salad fork. God… What. Were. You. Thinking!?

I swear, it’s been like 6 years since my first Windows CE PDA, and my latest one from Dell was one of the latest greatest and it is utter crap! I mean, the PDA itself is just sexy! Looks great. But, it’s a lot like that Bakushan down at your local grocer. You know, the one that looks great from behind, and then when she turns around it looks like someone freshly beat her with a tire iron. Yep, that’s how you feel when you start to get to know your new Windows Mobile 5 PDA…

On the flipside, I researched the SHIT out of this thing, because I was so wary of being fux0red again by our friends at Microsoft. Dude, RAVE reviews of this thing. RAVE! Everything I found seemed to be just a glowing review of this wonderful, life-saver of a gadget. Ok, I’m in… … $500 later, I just feel used, abused, betrayed, and a little molested. But, I swear to you there are thousands of people out there who just love their Axim x51v’s.

Me? I’m disappointed in you, Dell!! But, I forgive you. Microsoft, I’m not really disappointed in you… But, think about it… It would be like getting mad at someone with Alzheimer’s for forgetting your birthday… You know, it’s not really their fault, per se… And in 5 minutes they aren’t going to give a shit anyway…

So yeah, my PDA’s done… I’m done with PDA’s. Nobody really NEEDS to be that connected.