Ok, just thought I’d stop in here and update all three of my readers on the progress 2007 is making… Yes, that was your warning that a rant is coming.
I’ll start by stating my standard disclaimer. I understand that life is good. I have a roof over my head, a wonderful job, and food in the kitchen (much to my dismay sometimes). Blah blah blah. But, remember, it’s all relative, baby!
So, let me see if I can recap the goings on since my last update. When I last left you, I was sick as a dog, Rhys was sick, I’d been laid off, and my health insurance had been canceled… Among other things of course. Where are we now? My insurance is still canceled, I’m JUST getting over being sick, Rhys is still sick, and Heidi is sick now too. In addition to that, my ex-work AOL account is more screwed up than a Parkinsons patient after a fifth of whiskey, and my other free AOL account is in just as much turmoil. Yes, AOL is Spacely. Blah blah blah don’t give a shit. Like it was a big secret.
So, I’m trying to get my “free” account converted over to a paying account… A paying account that I will use on the “free” billing plan. This is the account my mom uses… Oh, hi mom. Get ready for some bad news. :) Anyway, I called up AOL. The IVR system asked me to tell it what my screen name was. So I say, “ABCDEFG”. Now, obviously that’s not my screenname, but it will suffice to get my point across. The IVR bitch comes back and says, “You said your screenname was JUHETFG#%$^%$@$^%$GSHF!@YFFD$#, correct?” No, I’m serious, the damn thing didn’t even get one letter correct. … NO! I’m not drunk! … Yet.
After the amazingly intelligent IVR system gives up on me, it transfers me to a human being.
AOL Guy (in such a thick Indian accent I thought I was renting a hotel room): “Thank you for calling AOL. My name is … Mike … How can I assist you?”
I swear to god he paused before saying “Mike”. I figure Mike must be short for Hashnanibabbawabidabba or something. Anyway, the gist of our conversation is Mike can’t help me without verifying the billing method I use for the account. I can’t give him the billing method on the account, because IT WAS A FREE FUCKING ACCOUNT THAT HAS NO BILLING METHOD.
After I hung up on … Mike … I called the mental midgets at the employee account security department (OPSSEC) to beg them to help me. I might as well have tried to color a fart blue, however, since I would have had much better luck accomplishing that task. Where does this leave me? Exactly where I started, only now I’m sure I have a new friend or two in the form of bleeding ulcers.
Mom, if you are reading this, no worries, I have a way figured out to keep you all setup with your precious AOL setup. Though, I will be talking to you soon to try to convince you to use a different service. One that doesn’t enjoy eating babies and sucking out the souls of good people.
AOL, you are like a seeping, sucking chest wound. Even now after I have been “healed” I still have this massive scare to remind me of why I hate you so very fucking much. Thanks for truly appreciating the 12 years of service I put in with your sorry, piece of shit company. I hope the leadership guiding that worthless, unholy, trainwreck of a service wakes up tomorrow to find rabid, mountain goats gnawing on their extremities. Yes. Those extremities! See you bastards in hell.
As if all that shit wasn’t enough to send me into a murderous rampage, my computer took a shit. A huge shit. I can’t remember if I’ve already told you guys about that crap. Well, I got a Dell. But, I tried to load XP from my collection of XP disks laying around my office and each one of them blue screened. Reigning theory is SATA drives, or lack thereof is causing it. Or perhaps the fact that the new machine is 64bit. Either way, I ordered XP 64bit and now have to wait LONGER to get my machine up and running.
I swear, too many “little things” are going wrong. I’m going to lose my mind by February at this rate. And if the neighbors don’t slap a muzzle on their furry little barking shit machines I’m gonna post a recipe I haven’t enjoyed since I lived in Korea. Ok, off to bed with me. With any luck I’ll trip and fall and meet my fate on the tip of a steak knife or something. LOL