The Man With the Axe
by Slack, on September 26th, 2007
Picture if you will the following scene which occurred in the dead of the night just before I was going to crash.
I’m outside smoking (yes, I know I need to quit). Out of the corner of my eye, I see some movement on the walkway up to our front door. It’s a spider. Being tired, and on a big of a bug hunt lately, I decide to kill this spider. Ok, this spider is about as big as my hand. Yes, I realize now that this was a tarantula and a good predator to keep around the house, but I wasn’t thinking last night.
So, I run in the garage and grab my African Zulu War Axe. … What? Doesn’t everyone have a Zulu War Axe in their garage? Anyway, I grab the axe, head out into the night to kill my enemy. I totally miss on the first strike, and the second strike severs two of its legs off. The spider quickly scampers away, as I stand there. Hunched over next to a bush. Outside my house. In the middle of the night. Holding a wicked looking axe. And that’s when some dude on a motorcycle decides to drive by my house.
As he slowed down to take in the sight, I wave at him… … With my free hand… Not with the axe.
HAHAHAHAHAHA! Nice. Now leave the poor spider alone.
KILL ALL the SPIDERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahhhhhhhhhh! I hate the word!
It was a good spider!! What have the spiders ever done to you? :)
Such a good spider that you are hacking away at it without thought of it’s parents or buddies…sheesh. I think it all started in a basement in Alaska, a vicious herd of daddly long freakin’ legs I took upon myself at maybe 6 years old if that to exterminate them, there was no end… and now they have all formed an alliance against me. (really)