I missed a day!!! Damn it! Oh well, I can miss one day. Had a busy weekend. I’m gonna cop out again. Just a humorous post today. Check out the cover of the NextCare Urgent Care newsletter. Pay particular attention to the title of the newsletter… OMG, are you kidding!? You can check the original here.

And now, a random thought from the “You Couldn’t Give Less of a Shit Department”.

There I was, driving back to work from my second field trip to some school on the ass end of town. I pull up to a red light and stop of course. I pause to take in my surroundings, and what do I see? Some twenty-something wearing a mini skirt! Yay you say? Nay, my friend, this was a far cry from yay. This girl was crossing the street as proud as can be, in her flowy (as opposed to skin tight) mini skirt and you were just praying for calm winds. WHY do they make these skirts in sizes above 10?

Ok, are you done calling me an insensitive ass now? I’m all for pride in the way you look, and the whole beauty takes many forms thing. I’m certainly not against larger folk being comfortable in their skin. Hell, I’m jealous, cuz I’m sure not comfortable in mine. But, seriously, don’t pretend a blimp is a fighter jet, if you know what I mean. It’s like painting racing stripes on a moped, or a Yugo.

For the love of Sweet Baby Jesus can we just let evolution take its course?

This just in: Complete Idiot Almost “Dies” After Eating Cheese from McDonald’s. In his defense, apparently everyone on his planet is allergic to this strange Earth substance known as cheese. Being the hyper picky foodie that I am, I can understand this fool’s plight. Especially when you go to a fast food joint. You tell them no onions! You tell them AGAIN NO FREAKIN ONIONS! Then you look at the sandwich and WTF is that? ONIONS! My god, it pisses you off to no end. But, you know what? I know that I have a distaste for onions, so I check my freakin burger, because it’s an unpleasant experience to bite into an onion.

Now, let’s check check out this Rocket Surgeon’s train of thought…

Wow! I’m hungry. I think I’ll go to McDonald’s for two QPs! I should, however, note that I am allergic to cheese. In fact I could DIE if I eat cheese. So, I will be sure to tell the underpaid, doesn’t-give-a-crap-about-me, burger flipper that I can’t have cheese. I will in fact be sure to tell the order taker, the payment taker, and the server the same thing. Surely then, it will not have the deadly cheese substance on it — because it can cause me to DIE!! Next, I will take my QPs to a darkened room, and proceed to immediately shove them into my mouth. I won’t check them for cheese, because I don’t have time to look for the bright, unnatural, yellow color melted all over my hamburger. I MEAN CHEESE IS SO HARD TO SEE!!! AND I TOLD THEM FIVE TIMES!! … … OMG I’M DYING!

That’s it in a nutshell (no pun intended). This guy’s family decides to speed him to the emergency room (since he’s dying). After the hospital “saves his life” (the $700 bill is telltale of the heroic effort it required), this smacktard and his super genius family are now suing McDonald’s.

So, in conclusion, how did this suit even get past the hysterical laughter of the judge? I mean, for christ sake, I check my burgers like I were looking for the black plague, and all I do is vomit if I eat an onion. This guy could DIE, and he doesn’t check for CHEESE!? Have you ever tried to find a lone McDonald’s onion on a QP!? Ugh…